Would you apply to other people's jobs?

Hello I need someone to apply to my jobs for me. When I go they do not hire me yet. However, I see other people working and someone would hire them. SOOOO what we need is a prestigious imposter who will pretend to be me but one difference is that they get hired. The other thing is they need to look like me or else on the first day of work they will say but you look different. SOOO we need a disguise. What you need to do is somehow look like me while getting hired somehow.

Okay so why should you apply to my jobs for me. Maybe it's like why should you take the time to do that. Okay, so I get it. How about I will pay you once I get hired. Or maybe it's like isn't that wrong to do? NO it's not it is helping someone get a job. Maybe it is a bit sneaky because they think it is one person but it is another person but they won't know and also I'll do a good job. For example I did a good job at my last job.

Now maybe it's like where am I going to apply to a job for you? Okay very logistical. I have one job you can interview for right now and also maybe you can write the applications too for other ones. You know that when I write an email it can be very garrulous or they will disdain my syntax so that is the reason you will achieve where I have did not do that.

Now you know the thing they always ask is can you work in teams or are you good at playing teams? How is it better to show this then by working on a team before you even start. That is a reason why you should join my team. Then you can also be prepared to work a job even though I hope you are already since that is the reason for this.